divine oasis

the saga ends

2007-05-22T23:33:00.000-05:00

i once wondered if it would be good.
i see now that's its more than good...it's perfect.
funny how our mind can make us slip and dip back into a time that's dangerous.
i must say goodbye.
i'm letting go of the dream i had of us.
we can never be one in this lifetime.
so i gotta shake u off.
i'm tired.

ready for my king to find me.
ready to be the center of his mind and let his eyes dine on me.
time will evaporate each day i wake up next him.
i want to be lost within purified and unconditional love.
divine love.
the kind that's all mine and all his.
we'll have some kids and grow steady together.
i'm ready.
it's time for me to soak up the love of my soulmate.

i'm ready.
i've let go of my past lullaby.
stuffing me then eating me up from the inside
i've been beaten too long.
hallucinated the dream when i'm sober.
so i'm finally shaking the spell. its over.
dim is the light that used to shine when i thought of my lullaby.
reality has finally caught up.
it's over.

i'm done with dreaming of unmaterialized love.
teasing me, each time u'd come to my spot.
knowing i'm digging u.
knowing u love someone else.
someone who'll never be me.
i'm tired.

i gotta let u go so my king can find me.
i'm letting go of the dream because i'm ready for him.
i need him to enter my life and B my light.
i'll rotate around his sun.
the man for me will fulfill my need to have pure and untampered with - love.

i'm ready for my king to give me...
pure.
divine.
strong.
unstoppable.
intoxicating.
undeniable.
uplifting.
perfectly, phenomenal...
LOVE.

peace, love and respect.

--your friend always

desperation

2007-02-19T22:32:00.000-06:00

have u ever wanted something so badly, you felt like it was yours already?

that's the right attitude.

keep moving in that direction.

love.

it's 2007

2007-01-01T23:24:00.000-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

this year will manifest everything. i will implement all lessons learned from 2006. each passing moment is a chance to turn it all around. i will be the living example of righteousness.

inhale the butterflies. exhale the demons.

enjoy every moment of your life!

diamonds and gold

2006-10-12T11:35:00.000-05:00

what's the deal with folk's obsession with gold and diamonds?

does anyone want to reflect on the old black man in africa that walked many miles to shift through dirt for hours only to exchange the gold or diamond that he recovers for ONE BAG OF WHEAT to feed his entire family?

meanwhile, that same diamond is sold to some sap sucker in the united states for $4,000.

it's like slavery never happened...

or better yet, is it still in full effect?

whatcha think?

breathing air is fantastic!

2006-09-29T12:12:00.000-05:00

i've found balance.

i remember again why i'm on the planet. i had lost my way at one point.

i'm here to breathe air.

never mind all the hard times that were thrown my way. i gained the lessons and appreciate the wisdom i have because of those obstacles.

i'm here to breathe air.

even in the midst of the storm, i must keep my eye focused on peace. that special place that CANNOT be disturbed.

ever wonder how some people can walk on fire, break stone tables with their bare hands, and withstand freezing temperatures naked?

MIND OVER MATTER

i'm here to breathe air and be peace.

AH........inhale the butterflies, exhale the demons.

LOVE PEACE & RESPECT

divine oasis

i'm back

2006-09-14T19:56:00.000-05:00

peace family,

it's been a long while. i'm getting wiser by the day. life is grand. celebrate it!

i got more to give ya. just touching base for now.

ONE

bye bye LA LA

2006-07-30T03:23:00.000-05:00

Yeah let me flip this shit. It’s like the world has turned itself inside out. Or is it me that flipping inside out? Someone else has taken over my body. I’m so numb to the lack of support from people I thought was on the same team as me. I turned 30 and gained a whole new perspective on this thang we call life. One moment, one situation, one incident, one conversation, one look, one action, one unspoken word, one thing can change it all. Your perspective. Damn, I never thought I would be dancing in the rain. Yet, I am. They say when it rain it pours. This running faucet of water is pouring on my locks and drenching my spirit. Cleansing me of the la la shit I’ve been on my whole life. You know, LA LA. Thinking the world is a warm and welcoming place. By the world, I don’t mean nature, because that’s where I find my balance. By world I mean the people in it. People are so full of hogwash. Yet I used to look thru my LA LA glasses and see smiles on the faces of people I know, I would feel comfort in knowing them, they would smile, I would smile back and be happy and comfortable in my la la place. Truth is, the LA LA glasses have been removed and I can clearly see that people truly don’t give a fuck. So what did I get for my 30th birthday? Thick skin. That was my born day present to myself. Thick, u can’t penetrate, u can’t get thru, u can’t affect, u can’t disappoint, thick brown skin. I’ll use the melanin that’s dancing beneath my surface of my thick skin as fuel to push thru the hogwash and get to the real. My pact to myself, tonight, this morning at 2:37 am on Sunday, July 30, 2006 is I’m a seeker of the REAL. Hogwash is no longer allowed within the walls of my temple. Mental, physical or otherwise.

Favorite line from underworld evolution:
“why would I listen to your lies, when the path to the truth is so much sweeter?”

road warrior

2006-07-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

did i complain in a previous blog about gas being $3.09? i faintly remember that.

it's $3.39 a GALLON now -- in real life! and the rumor is...it's supposed to hit $4 by the end of the summer. for ONE (fill in the blank) gallon????!!!!!?????!!!!!

i understand BP made $7.3 BILLION in the last three months.

have u ever seen the road warrior?

therapy

2006-07-19T20:45:00.000-05:00

walk slow.
rock new growth.
mold your mind,
beauty lives in the time.
unwind to the beat of your heart.
start fresh. take your time.
slow wind to the drummer on your land.
protect it.
soak up the best part.
charge your life within the realms of peace.
perfect it.
release the burden.
release the grief.
misery loves company.
i seek my company more.
explore happiness within its crevices.
let your soul explode.

where is your heart?

2006-07-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

when people say, "don't wear your heart on your sleeve," what does that mean exactly? does it mean keep your heart inside your chest, where it's safe and protected?

i'm figuring if you wear your heart on your sleeve then, any and everybody can see it, bump into it, break it, get it dirty, abuse it, use it, and completely take it for granted.

is there really such a thing as being too open?

today is my 30th earth day

2006-07-13T21:17:00.000-05:00

i was born 30 years ago today. funny how time flies when you're having fun. i'm definitely enjoying my freedom on the planet earth.

i breeze easy as i embrace my life in full bloom
zoom past the past as i take off into the eternity of this moment
caught dancing on the best part of the earth, as i explore it
adore it
sworn to the positive vibration
i adorn it with constant application

peace, love and respect!!!

single mother syndrome -- makes u wanna HOLLA!

2006-07-01T15:39:00.000-05:00

there are entirely too many single mothers in the united states. why is that? do u think it could be a conspiracy?

most of the time, it starts with a so-called love connection with some male. after the (not even worth it most of the time) mating process. sperm penetrates the egg and KABOOM...a baby is going to be born in 9 months.

it's something how the phrase "mother's baby, daddy's maybe" is real. maybe it's because daddy has a choice. he can roll bounce or stick around. most times, though, it's the women that choose to go through with the labor and delivery, that HAVE TO DO MOST, IF NOT ALL of the parenting. every day she must make sure her child eats, plays, learns, grows, rests, and be safe at all times. from sunrise to sunrise. every day. ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG. which is cool, because she did give birth to her precious child. it's just funny how a man can decide when or if he wants to spend time or not. even if he's not in a relationship with the mother, it still seems like he would want to spend as much time with his seed as possible. hell, what can be more important than spending time with your seed? especially, if that child doesn't live in your house. i just don't get it.

i guess there's a reason why the child spends the first 9 months of his life in the womb of his mother. could it have been preparing him for the real world?

peace love and balance!

senseless, yet it continues

2006-06-25T13:51:00.000-05:00

peace family,

yesterday i went to a funeral. this was huge for me b/c i generally try my best to not attend these types of events. i don't like funerals. i don't like dead bodies. viewing them feels wrong. yesterday, however, i felt it was necessary for me to step outside the box. it was like some invisible force was pulling me. i'm all about elevation so i went. it was a surreal experience.

his name is corey ebenezer. he had a position as a manager at a restaurant where i once worked as a waitress (this was my favorite out of all the 18 jobs i've had in my life btw). on june 15th, 3 guys deemed it appropriate to rob this restaurant at closing and take corey's life in the process. he had four girls and a fiancee whom he gave his love to on a daily bais. his last daughter was born just 5 days before the heartless theives shot her father. these bastards shot him just a few days before father's day. c'mon... he has 4 daughters. WTF!!!

keyword: HEARTLESS

something is seriously wrong with the world. just wicked mean and evil. it's like the consciousness of the people has disintegrated into nothing. no feelings reside in the bodies of everyday people. like they were raised with a pack of hyenas. WE MUST OPEN OUR EYES. what does anyone expect to gain from killing a man for money? karma will murder any thoughts that person ever had of gaining success in this life. their "being peaceful and free" stock just dropped dramatically. just when they think they're floating on sunshine, the rain will smack them back down to the concrete. meet the fate they created. eventually they'll be faded into the background as they frown within their wickedness. the sad thing is...these vultures are everywhere.

the earth is so beautiful. yet, humans manage to be the ONLY ones that seem to not get along. purposely hurting each other, senselessly. we should be the main ones loving each other. hell, we have a choice. that's what distinguishes us from the beasts. yet we have men walking upright, being beasts.

my goodness, has it been a month?

2006-06-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

peace family,

i know it's been a long while since i blogged. my hiatus was completely unexpected. there has been so much stuff happening these days. time is moving so fast that i can't help but travel in turtle motion. so in a turtle-shell, i've been taking it slow...real slow. i didn't want to miss any of the jewels that have been continuously flowing my way.

i'm chiming in to anyone who may check this out. i'm still alive and groovy and will definitely be touching down on the some of the millions of topics that i've neglected to share with you during my blog hibernation. again, my disappearance wasn't on purpose. it was just a by-product of the increasing speed of the earth's rotation.

as always, i'm loving u long distance. so go ahead and hug yourself for me. then go out and hug the first person within arms range. lets spread some love around. the world so desperately needs it right now. let it start with you.

until next time...enjoy every moment of your life!

low self esteem is a killer

2006-05-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

i have a friend who knows a woman that was murdered this past saturday. she was 36 years old and the mother of 5. wondering who killed her??? well, it was none other than her boyfriend, her so-called beloved. see...he was locked up for a year and a half for wrapping her up in duct-tape. and even though he did this extremely disrespectful act, she still found it necessary to visit him in prison and give him money. he eventually got out. all the while, they never stopped being a couple. so the other day, she was under the impression that he was on his way over to deliver a belated mother's day gift. little did she know that the evening was going to end with her being stabbed to death. she was found monday because the smell that was coming from her apartment was so outrageous that the neighbors couldn't take it any longer. the landlord found her on the floor, naked, with a sheet over her face. on the wall, in blood, was written,"i am sick. i need help." a couple of days later, her car was sold to a neighborhood kid for $100. she was the mother of 5 children and not one child belonged to her murdering boyfriend.

i personally didn't know this woman, but this story is not the first of its kind. so i ask you, what's up with the whole topic of people murdering their loved one? was the love that was felt ever that intense? or was it always completely twisted? i mean, u meet someone. you're feeling that person completely. he or she gives you goosebumps, so you want them around all the time. you eventually become intimate and you got a new habit. ok...i follow that. but how does the transition kick off, though? to where you're stabbing them to death. can an argument kick it off? hmmm, that's just not a good enough reason, because its just a difference in opinion and you can work through that; just like a ripple in a pond. and if it gets to be too much and you're really not seeing eye to eye, then there's always this one fact...TOO MANY PEOPLE LIVE ON THE PLANET to get caught up in just one. so can an ego or jealousy problem kick it off? perhaps, b/c there are a lot of cocky people out there. and if that's the case then this holds true...u should just leave that person alone!! because at the risk of sounding extremely redundant...there are TOO MANY PEOPLE LIVING ON THE PLANET to get caught up in just one!!!

low self-esteem is a serious issue that plagues the minds of many. why would one settle for such disrespect? do they not feel worthy? do they honestly think they deserve the beatings, lashes of violence, endless nights of crying and shame, etc? every human deserves love and respect. hugs and kisses. if you are not getting that, then LEAVE whoever you're with alone. life is too short. you don't have to accept anything less than kindness from your lover.

if you know someone struggling with self esteem issues, please reassure them that they can be strong and stand up for their right to be happy. besides...their life IS at risk. the point of no return has to start somewhere. if a man is putting is hands on a woman, because he is SO angry, then what's to stop him from eventually taking her life one day. he obviously can't control himself.

peace, love and respect!

waterbugs -

2006-05-20T08:14:00.000-05:00

why are they so gigantic??? and why have i managed to let their size and armor-coated disposition intimidate me?

i wonder what they think about while they cruise through bug-land in their hummers.

the ultimate hustler award goes to...

2006-05-16T12:46:00.000-05:00

starting in july, the state of illinois will be installing speed cameras on highways that have work zones with a 45 mph speed limit. the fine for your first offense will be $375. if u get caught a second time, you will receive a $1000 ticket AND your license will be suspended for 90 days. WTF!!!

please imagine this. it's 2 am. you're driving home at 55 mph on an empty highway. you enter a work zone area, the orange signs inform u that the speed limit is now 45 mph. there are NO workers at work and there aren't many cars out on the road with you. u just want to get home, so you keep going at your pace. you make it home with relief. a few days later, you receive a $375 ticket in the mail. included is a photo of your face in your car speeding.

now, i understand that they want to protect the workers b/c many have been killed by speed demons. but, in real life, workers aren't working all the time. and what's the grace mileage? a human cop's logic can be like, "oh they're only going 3 miles, or 6 miles over the limit. so, i'm not going to give them a ticket for that. plus there are no workers working." but do these damn cameras have any reasoning capabilities. if i'm going 1 mile over, will i still receive a $375 ticket?

and they're seriously talking about issuing a $1000 fine for the second offense AND suspending your license for 90 days. that is straight gangsta. what kind of havoc is this going to create?

and have they factored in that it's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to do the speed limit. my friends that know me, know i cruise when i drive. i like to take my time, b/c i don't like flashing lights and a cop's voice telling me to pull over. this being the case, i can testify, that the majority of ppl driving don't want u to do the limit. if you do, you're really pissing ppl off. they're speeding up behind you, riding your bumper, passing you while giving you the finger or a look that could kill you. basically, it's hazardous to drive the speed limit. what ever happened to driving with the flow of traffic? i can only imagine how much money the state is going to make per hour with their robotic traffic cops.

i've come to the conclusion that the state of illinois is THIRSTY. these blood suckers won't sleep unless they're hustling drivers for their hard earned dollars. and where will all this new found money be going? they're already pimping us with the numerous parking fines being handed out daily, the pay-to-park boxes and the violations you receive if you neglect to pay, the yellow boots they put on special those wheels (whenever they're in the mood to sweep your neighborhood for 7 consecutive days, always looking for more ways to make that money), the unlimited towing calls they put in, the doubling of tickets, and the list goes on and on and it don't stop.

it's just not enough anymore for the police to hunt alone for driver's dollars. now, the state wants to install these camera sidekicks that have non-stop scoping ability. yeah, it'll start with work zones, then it's going to spread across the board. 'cause just like any vampire, once the taste of blood hits its tongue, there will be no stopping its desire to obtain more.

the ultimate hustler has been targeted.

be careful driving in illinois.

peace love and balance!

happy mother's day!!!

2006-05-14T12:41:00.000-05:00

happy mother's day!

now that i've said that, let me say this. personally, i think mother's day is every day. even though the US decided that today should be dedicated to the mothers, which works well for the economy, hallmark, florists, and all the other stores profiting from this holiday, i can't lose sight of the fact that my mother is a mother every day.

so why aren't people taking time to appreciate the mothers who should be appreciated EVERY day? they only gave life to us. can u imagine a man harvesting a unborn child in his womb for 9 months only to go through the joyous event of "labor and delivery"? if u haven't experienced this, then let me tell you...HONEY, giving birth is some serious business. i had no idea that your body could feel such pain. it hardly seems fair for any human to ever to go through that. which is why i'm always amazed at the earth's population. after the enduring session of untimely contractions, pelvic bones shifting and relocating, ligaments being stretched and pulled every which way, the pressure, the pressure, the pressure (yep, i said it 3 times) and eventually the baby pushing (or the c-section), you get to change a million+ diapers and dedicate your once supple breasts to, what seems like, non-stop breast-feeding. let alone all the nurturing, cultivating, supporting, teaching, money-spending, preaching, feeding and leading that comes with having a child for the next 18+ years of your life.

in a nutshell, every day is mother's day! we can't forget where we come from. literally.

"people make the world go round."

so...hug your mom for me (if she's no longer breathing air, then she's wrapped around you all the time anyway, so tell her i say peace). and if you're a mom, i'm hugging you long distance.

love peace and respect!

i'm alive

2006-05-01T13:02:00.000-05:00

peace family,

how's life treating ya? how do you feel, right now? take a snapshot of your mood in this very moment.

if you're curious about me and my current state, then let me tell you, i'm absolutely phenomenal!! i'm swinging on the vines of life, blushing. what's got me so excited?? well, beautiful people, let me share this with you. i woke up this morning AND i can see, hear, taste, smell, think clearly, speak intelligently, walk with my legs, touch with each one of my fingertips, breathe on my own, and that's just the foundation of my excitement.

i'm also super-charged about...

1. laughing and smiling A LOT. even when it seems there is no reason behind it (well, not one that u can see with your naked eye, anyway).

2. dancing and singing to the music that lives in my head - anytime and anywhere the mood strikes me - in the street, a store, an elevator, the train, my car, irregardless of the strangers that may take witness. i just smile and continue to soak up my freedom. (no mp3 player or i-pod required)

3. telling and showing my family and friends how much i love them. how else will they ever know? everyone needs love. love is the answer to most of the problems facing this world today. if i could only put my love in a pill and make people take them (for free).

4. embracing nature's beauty. i like taking time out to appreciate life that often goes by unnoticed, like touching the bark of a living tree and being one with its energy. trees are so wonderful. even though humans chop them down, they still want to give us oxygen, just so we can breathe. showing us unconditional love. when was the last time you touched one and gave your respect?

5. allowing my mind to wander as i pay attention to the nightly face-change of the moon and surrounding clouds (if any exist). the night sky is amazing. i like to be reminded that we live on an extremely small ball that spins in a gigantic universe. so how big can our "issues" really be?

6. zoning out while viewing waves tip-toe or crash in on the lakefront. isn't it something how the moon aids the motion of the tides? i absolutely love water and this universe!!!

in a nutshell, life is great. i'm alive. i can't complain. i'd rather be thankful for the greatness i experience while living my life on this planet. sometimes we focus on what we don't have and completely lose sight of the gifts we possess. the reality is...none of our moments should be taken for granted, because not one second is promised.

so again i ask, how are you? how's life treating ya?

hug often. love everyday. respect the earth. respect yourself.

peace, love and balance!

drink water

2006-04-24T13:50:00.000-05:00

be the water. water flows onward always. it penetrates the crevices, it wears down resistance, it stops to fill deep places, then moves on. it always holds on to its true nature & always flow with the forces in the cosmos.

$3.09 per gallon???

2006-04-22T14:22:00.000-05:00

i thought it was a joke. thinking, they can't do that. can they? this has to be unlawful. but, alas, they can. these damn gas stations are asking for drivers to pay $3.09 and up for regular gas. not the premium 93% gas, but the even more watered down 87% regular unleaded.

does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? i remember gas used to $1.19 be per gallon now we're in the $3 range. the media was making a big fuss about the soaring cost of gas last summer. everyone was talking about it. you couldn't go to the gas station without witnessing strangers becoming panel members on the topic. something happened and the prices eventually went down. over the past couple of months, though, the prices have been sneaking back up. adding on a few cents every couple of days, on the sly, going by unnoticed until here we are - back at outrageous. now the media is silent, the buyers of this over priced gas are silent, and everyone is just accepting it. forced to be gas whores. i feel so violated every time i pump my gas, that i have to rush home to take a shower. these are some shameful times, i tell ya. just shameful.

so, what can we do about this? something has to give. there's a problem going on. it's affecting my pockets and i am super not feeling it. $45 to fill up a hyundai elantra? we must be approaching the last days. i knew there was a reason i never wanted a hummer.

can anyone feel me on this?

automated BS

2006-04-19T10:37:00.000-05:00

ok...i put this off long enough. gotta blog about it. for the past week my home phone rings faithfully every morning. when i answer, it's an automated message from a darlene daniels informing me that her office has made numerous attempts to contact an adult at my number. in a pissed off tone, she's demanding a call back. she doesn't give any specifics, like her company name or the purpose for her early morning call. she says the law won't permit her to say more. but a call back is mandatory. she does, however, recognize that she could have the wrong number so she uses that as support for why it's so important for someone to call her back at the 888 number she gives so freely. she ends it by saying this is not a sales call.

for one...who is this chick? it's really hilarious, yet highly annoying, that she expects me to answer my phone early in the morning and get her taped voice in my eardrums. what's even more comical...after realizing that it's not really her waking me up, but her voice-clone, i'm supposed to, not hang up but, stay on the phone, listen to her seriously vague and extended pre-recorded message, write her number down (that's if i had a pen in hand, i'm still waking up, remember), and dial her undisclosed company's digits from my phone - all on MY time. she has got to be kidding me. let me get this right. ms. darlene daniels couldn't find it in her heart to take the time to personally dial my number, speak to me in her LIVE voice, and get all the answers she's so desperately seeking to retrieve. yet, she expects me to take the time to reach out to her. lol. she even tries to lure me in with, "this is not a sales call." honestly, i'm not that curious. i wouldn't care if she was calling to give me a millions dollars or if there's a warrant out for my arrest. i'm not about to call her, she gave me nothing. it would be nice to tell her the truth, though. maybe i should send a pre-recorded message of my voice tailored just for her and her company. it would go something like this. "i just got this phone number a week ago. i don't know who you're trying to contact. please never call and wake me up again. ever in life. seriously. thanks for your cooperation."

my thirsty friend darlene isn't the only one struggling to make contact. walgreens has been on that bandwagon too. their automated message tells me my prescription is ready. threatening to ship it back if i don't pick it up. even though they provided their company name and location, i'd still love to tell them something too. "what prescription, walgreens? i don't need medicine."

ah, the joys of a new home phone number.

wouldn't these businesses accomplish more with a live person on the line? this way they can more effectively gather knowledge from their directed target, instead of sending these "seek and intimidate" automated messages to resting beauties like myself, who have absolutely nothing to do with their workflow. they'll never accomplish their goal waiting on me to call and set them straight. if only they knew that a live representative should've been on the line when i answered my phone. then they would be in-the-know instead of rocking the land of the unknown. ultimately, they're wasting a lot of time and bothering innocent monthly phone-payers.

this whole idea of pre-recorded voice messages that automatically dial your number on a cycle bothers me. it rubs me the wrong way, just like unlimited amount of automated services that's wiping out good clean and wholesome customer service. these robot-machine voices love to prompt you, too, with their, "press 1 for this, 2 for that, 3 for kiss my ass, and if your dumb ass forgot what i told ya press the * key." yada, yada, and more yada's. it's definitely pushing the same load of crap. you call a company to discuss an account and end up taking notes from a machine that can't hear you. i especially love the ones that want you to talk to them, they tell you to use your voice (like they got ears) instead of pushing buttons. when you attempt to use english, the machine-voice lady says, "i'm sorry, i couldn't understand you. would you please repeat that." i'm thinking, of course, you can't understand me, you're not human. i'm forced to repeat myself (i usually dedicate this time to say, BITCH get me a representative) until finally she transfers me to a live person. which is all i wanted in the first place. who has time to listen to this alien talk? what happened to the good old days when you called up a place of business and got a live person right away. you knew when you hung up, you were on the same page as the representative. no surprises later. like, "what do you mean you never received that $150 payment i made over the phone, last week?". that shot-out goes to sprint.

is this the day and age we live in? live voices are becoming extinct? i bet the people who were not around to experience the telephone, wouldn't have guessed in a million years that people would take such a wonderful invention for granted. just imagine, having to wait on that man with a horse to ride your letter over the river and thru the woods, only for your recipient to receive your message months later. seems drawn out, doesn't it? now we have phones everywhere and can speak and be heard immediately, yet dread taking the time out to communicate with our fellow man or woman. there are way too many voice-clones seeking feedback and machine-lady voices asking for push button and vocal responses. where's the human connection?

u-n-i-verse

2006-04-14T19:31:00.000-05:00

building. reading. being. seeing. meeting you for the first time. using my 3rd eye.
changing. rearranging. debating. relating. accepting the infinite me. the mystical me.
smiling. laughing. hugging. loving. respecting the inner me. the delicious me.
uplifting. protecting. nurturing. growing. drifting within the depths of my soul. free to be me.
shaking. rotating. spinning. moving. claiming my existence. appreciating the kinetic me.
feeling electrons dance. seeking to find the path of least resistance. defenseless. living to be righteous.
grooving to the drummers in my band. on my land. in my mind. in my time. i am one with the universe. with u i verse. first.

u-n-i-verse

one!

groovin'

2006-04-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

peace family,

i went to the ice bar for the first time on saturday night. i did my regular intro routine - got a drink and made my way to the dance floor. to me, going out is all about the dancing. there is a certain type of freedom that comes with shaking your groove thang to some delicious music. hips gyrate, the soul is lifted, your heart is light, and its all about the feeling you possess at that moment. humbling yourself to that invisible force that makes your spine move. the dance floor was located between the bar and a roped off area with couches and tables, where the special people sat (lol, i'll touch down on this topic momentarily). with my glass in hand, i couldn't help but notice that there was no one else on the dance floor. i've been known to exaggerate from time to time, but i mean, literally, NO ONE was on the floor. it was perfect!! there is nothing like an empty floor for me to work it on. yes, all eyes were on me. i was in a zone, commanding everyone's attention and loving every second of it. i like the night life, i like to boogie.

after a while, i step to the ladies room & check myself. i'm still fly, so i work my way back to the foundation of my livelihood...the liberating dance floor. on the way, this extremely tall man bumps into me, damn near trampling me over. i jokingly throw both my hands up, smiling, while my eyes were screaming "pardon me, mr. man-in-a-hurry, i'm only 5' even, please look out for the little people." just then, i realized that this man-in-a-hurry was michael jordan, wearing an all white waffle print jordan sweatshirt, tucked inside his stonewashed jeans (that were pulled up way too high, i feel), rocking a black belt and a black kango hat tilted to the back. he threw me a smile and proceeded to the front VIP section.

so there was jordan, sitting in VIP, smoking his cigar, texting the hell out of someone. during his text-breaks, i would see him watch me as i danced. and as if he could help it. i mean, not only was i doing the damn thang on the floor, i was the only one on it for a LONG time. i can't trip though, my girl did come and join me after a while. jordan found us humorous as we did old school dances. eventually, the other people shook off their shyness and started dancing. i was ready for the company too, i do enjoy the party feel. you know, where there's more than 2 people on the floor. periodically, i'd look up and jordan'd be smiling at me. using slang body language, i reminded him that he was "throwing them bows" at me earlier. he understood my message, and laughed. it was nice to see him out in public, though. i kept thinking, damn, this man has the capabilities of getting me completely out of debt. and it'd wouldn't leave not one dent in his finances. ah, the possibilites. i did, however, pride myself on not being a groupie. it was interesting to see the amount of chicks and men that were gawking at him as if he gave birth to them. this world is definitely a trip. ya just never know who you're going to run into on a saturday night in chicago. in my eyes, though, everyone's the same. i don't honor hierachy systems.

which brings me to the topic of the VIP section. what is this area all about? a bunch of over-the-top cats, drinking their champaign and other high priced beverages, with model chicks sitting pretty, no one is dancing, everybody's posing without any cameras around, and all of this exciting stuff is happening behind velvet ropes. who are these people? the watchers of the party? feeling special b/c they're seperated from the peasants. it made me ponder, can a velvet rope really seperate anyone seeking to enter this forbidden area? i mean, if anyone was really that interested and denied admittance, i'm sure they can take out that one muscle bound shorty in the way too tight t-shirt guarding the ropes and step right over. right?? it just doesn't seem like proper security for these very important people. i'm surprised they weren't sitting behind a glass wall with holes strategically placed so that they can still breath and watch. c'mon, is it really that serious? and this place had 2 VIP sections. as if one wasn't enough. some of the boston celtic team were holding down the one located by the bathrooms, and jordan rocked the one in the front. during the night, i was invited to both of the VIP sections (and of course i was, not only was i sexy, i owned the dance floor). each time i got invited, i stepped inside only to retrieve a drink from the restricted area and immediately stepped back out to shake my groove thang with the common folk. i'm a simple woman, ya know.

peace love and respect

change

2006-03-31T09:42:00.000-06:00

peace family,

today is the last day of march. where in the hell is time going? i'm convinced that the earth is spinning faster, making time fly with it. it was just december. and now we've already completed 25% of the year 2006. i remember prince singing about partying like it's 1999 back in the 80s and me thinking about how far away that was. it left me to wonder, where will i be i be in 1999? i had so many goals planned out. and now here we are, 7 years past that futuristic 1999. no flying cars, no robots in the street, no perfect society, no end of the world. oh well. such is life.

i figure today would be a good day to post the theme behind some of my lessons learned this year. and wow did i learn a lot. i'm forever changed because of it. that's the beauty in life. the change factor. you can think you know something, but in one sliver of a moment you can realize that you didn't know a damn thing. and what should we do with this bucket of new knowledge? by all means we must apply it to our lifestyle. flexibility is key. our survival depends on it.

there is nothing consant in the universe. all ebb & flow and every shape that's born, bears in its womb the seeds of change.

so many times, we may possess the truth, but refuse to go thru the hell of applying it to our way of life. it's "easier" to hold on to our preconceived notions, irregardless of the difficulties they create. then wonder why we're struggling to be at peace. for example, we've all seen the story about the battered wife who chooses to stay with her no-good husband. she knows she's not happy, but can't remove the blockage that makes her stay in hell. the lack of application of her knowledge feeds her beaten condition. she's has trouble wrapping her brain around the idea that she can do much better without him. the change factor is way to much for her to handle. once she finally gets the strength to stand up for herself, embrace her self-worth, and leave this guy alone, she becomes free from the pain and the stains of bullshit that she's been enduring. we must defeat the hardships that block our path toward growth and development. knowing that any hardship we face, begin in the mind. we must conquer our demons there. nothing is ever as hard as it seems. we are the only ones capable of validating our mental state. residing on the square of truth will always set us free. embrace the facts and always think outside of the box.

key lesson:
be the water. water is flexible. always happy at the lowest level. it can't be destroyed, yet it can overcome rocks and stones.

expectations

2006-03-27T12:57:00.000-06:00

what's the deal with all these expectations floating around? why do we ever expect anything from anyone? it's a sure way to experience disappointment. the greatest moments that ever came my way were the unexpected ones. so what's all this talk about expecting something? we, as humans, try too hard to control our friends, loved ones, coworkers, associates, the stranger that accidentally bumped into us on the street and so on. we want them to mimic our approach to life. put them in a box, and if they step outside of it, then "oh, hell naw. get your ass back in that box!!!" shouldn't we just live and let people be? in a perfect world, it would be nice to see reflections of yourself in everyone you meet, but this is not the reality. the people you come across on this planet possess their own mind. they have their own objectives. i am willing to offer respect to all of these individuals that walk the planet earth. i recognize that i am not here to judge anyone. how can i possibly know what's best for anyone? i can't. i can only focus on my actions and be a living example of what i would like to see manifest in this world.

since people can't be controlled, wouldn't it be easier to just associate yourself with people who are on the same page, going in the same direction & eating from the same tree as you. this way you'll understand where this person is coming from, even if you don't agree with his/her position on a particular topic. and if the difference in vision ever becomes too much, you can choose to love it or leave it alone.

here's a fable i love to death...
there was a nice woman that found an injured snake outside of her home. she brought it inside and helped it back to perfect health. soon after, the snake bit the woman. as the venom seeped into her veins, killing her slowly, she asked the snake, "how could you do this too me?". the snake replied, "bitch, you knew i was a snake."

be your own sole controller and let people be themselves.

peace love and respect!

bush

2006-03-21T16:17:00.000-06:00

so...america has the village idiot as its leader. this is a clear tale sign that we're in trouble. not only is this gump supporting war and wasting billions of precious dollars, he's really not smart. seriously, he's just as dumb as the carpet i walk on. i understand that he was pissed at the bombing of the twin towers in 2001, but his so-called retaliation has went way too far. what i don't get is how do you plan to attack terrorism when you're a faithful terrorist yourself. he's a living hypocrite that gets off on terrorizing entire nations. and by far, the world's biggest bully. why in the hell are troops still in iraq? do we remember the the purpose of the invasion? what happened to the plan of eradicating weapons of mass destruction. oh that's right, there weren't any. it was all a lie. a big fat one. i guess it was all about the oil. i really don't get how one is allowed to go to another place on the planet and dictate how the inhabitants should run their government. it seems rude. as far as the way the system is set up over here...healthcare sucks, proper education is non-existent, way too many people are living on the streets, not to mention the various issues of drugs, guns, racism, police brutality, and the list goes on and on and on. and if i'm reading this correctly, the plan is to set up a government similiar to the one that sucks major ass here in the states. these fucking bloodsuckers of the poor are getting away with murder. literally!! i truly think that politics is a huge waste of time. who wants to hear lip service. unless the lips of these vampires are kissing my ass.

btw,
there have been 3,000 soldiers that have lost their life in the past 3 years in iraq. compared to the 30,000 - 100,000 iraqis that have lost their lives. this shit must cease.

war...what is it good for? absolutely nothing.

gangs

2006-03-17T16:28:00.000-06:00

i CANNOT believe that gangs still exist. this is completely idiotic to me. here in chicago, another innocent young girl has lost her life while she was in her home. how did she die? some fucking coward decided to get a gun and shoot mulitiple shots at his missed target. i mean really. bad enough, these young punks think it's cool to claim a 3 block radius as their own and let their lives deteriorate into shit, beefing with others for futile reasons; but it's a whole different issue of taking someone's life unnecessarily. what happened to the good old days when you used your fists and mouthpiece to calm your anger? it's pretty damn hard to miss your target when he or she is right in your face. these gang members that claim they're so hard, are really just as soft as baby asses still in the womb. "i'm too scared to fight you head up, so i'll drive down the block real fast and shoot everybody on the block because this one guy pissed me off so badly." i mean...grow the fuck up. get a life. talk it out. it's not like you're going to hit your target anyway. and if you really wanted to get the person you're pissed at, then fight them, head up. i'm so sick and tired of these screwed up assholes messing it up for everyone. there really is a problem when a 10 year old girl can't play at her own your birthday party without a bullet flying through her window and taking her life. talk about crashing a party. this shit is ridiculous and it needs to stop. not to mention the fact that this sad event happened 8 days after a 14 year old girl lost her life while in her living room. she was an honor roll student and lost her precious time on this planet the same way, drive by. both tradegies took place just 3 blocks away from each other. i just wanna smack all these chumps in the face with a sledge hammer so they can wake up out of their "i hate me and everyone else" coma.

btw,
where in the fuck are all these kids getting guns anyways? and where are the parents of these unruly beings? if you really want to impress me then go after some of the folks running our government. c'mon, stealing money from the needy to buy their children luxury cars at 16. that's who the beef should be with. not the someone in your neighborhood who looks like you and have the same socioeconomic issues as yourself. don't we all enjoy laughing with our friends, watching a good movie, making love with our significant others. where are all the hugs and kisses?

we're living in a CRAZY WORLD.

yin yang

the rat race

2006-03-16T13:47:00.000-06:00

why in the hell are we allowing other people to dictate to us where we need to be for money? you know what i'm talking about. the 9-5, the 8:30-5 gig (or whatever your master thinks your hours should be). we barely spend daylight hours in our home. rent, mortgage just wasting away. we're basically paying for storage. we wake up knowing exactly where we'll be M-F. this is extremely played out. it's time for us to get some cash flow coming in so we can stop working for the man. it's true. if you don't have a dream of your own then you'll be working damn hard to support someone else's. we need to take our destiny and livelihood in our own hands. financial independence is where it's at. just imagine. your money working for you. literally. buy assets...kill the liabilities. check out www.richdad.com.

btw...
since i'm not ready to give up my job just yet (lol), what's all this business about being at work on time? i never and i mean never get to work on time. i can try and it never turns out that way. but i figure, what's the harm? i'm alive right. i mean none of our moments are guaranteed on this planet. so how can my job assume i'm running late, when something could've happened to me. for real. when i show up, ppl should be clapping and hugging me b/c i'm alive, damnit. rarely do they think of this though. they're just ready to tell me about myself and put their observations in my reviews and stuff. like it matters. i can, however, promise my employer that i will never do a no-call no-show. that's completely irresponsible. i may do a call and no-show OR a no-call and late-show. never a no-call no-show.

love peace and balance!

my prototype

2006-03-15T11:23:00.000-06:00

i used to love a man. then i realized that it was never love. i idolized him. he was my prototype. he made my heart ache. i sat back patiently waiting. debating if i should just leave it alone. leave him alone and clear my mental home. yet he possessed me. he could do no wrong. i'd call he'd answer only when it was convienient. i used to stay anxious feigning for his voice to end the ringing. panting like an animal thirsty for love. lonely with the feathers of a dove winking. i was content with my demented thinking. emotionally done. remained positive that he was the one. heart burned like fire whenever his name slipped off the base my tongue. sprung like tulips in june i was doomed to an eternal hunger. i assumed he had to feel the same. had feel my pain, yearn for my name and the fire that burns deep within me. desire me, as he was the light that used to cleanse me - he went dim and became the very dream that woke me. broke me free. free from the disease that had me twisted in his sick melody. kisses draped in infinity. i spent years bathing within his invisible passion expressed by a fine mist. i now exist alone without his tongue with a twist. dissed by the object of my affection. reflecting on how i missed my chance to dance with his intoxicating presence. didn't grab him when he desired my essence. i was distracted by other men. looking for greener grass. moments have passed and introspection has taught me to mourn and move on. i was the next one to survive the loveless storm.